Unexpected dose of unfriendliness

I don't know what was in my previous entry that drove somebody to write mean comments - in 4 different guises. Labeling me as 'kedekut', greedy, inferring all Malaysian government servants as corrupted beings without any concrete proof, topping it with some immature political biasness - it was rather shocking to see this kind of comments appearing in my blog.

Seriously, what gives?

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The ojiichan I met in the park - he had no idea whatsoever that I am a government servant, so no I don't think he would go around telling anybody how he had generously donated 10,000 yen to a poor government servant in a third world. Chances are he would be too embarrassed to share with his friends that he misses his own grandchildren so much that he tried to make do by presenting gifts for kids that remind him of them.

The 10,000 yen I received was on behalf of the children. Not like I greedily accepted it too - I was hesitant in accepting it, but he insisted. But honestly, I see no wrong in accepting his offer - I asked around, and lots of people agreed with me. I didn't ask for it, and there was nothing attached to it. It was something like receiving 'duit raya ' on behalf of your kids from a kind stranger... What is so greedy or kedekut with that?

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For some reason I despise people who make baseless assumptions about other people's state of finance. When I was in high school, I heard dorm-mates whispering behind my back about how 'kedekut' I was with my crackers/biscuits.

What they didn't know was that my father was declared bankrupt when I was in Form 2, and it took quite some time for our family to recover. For a long while, Mak had to walk a kilometer away to board a bas mini to work, a big change from driving her own car to work, and she was in a quite senior position back then. I was given a pittance for monthly allowance, thus I looked forward to volunteer going to canteen for the seniors in my dorms - because that was the easy way for me to get a treat from the canteen using the tips, instead of using my limited pocket money. When I was in form 4, I was happy to be made a co-opian, as it also meant I could earn some extra pocket money (or rather buy stuff without using my small allowance).

Back then, I wore mostly hand-me-down garments from Mak out of necessity - Mak needed the money for other more important stuff, like paying bills, school fees and what nots. Due to our differences in size, I always had to make some 'alterations' to the waistline of Mak's kain sarong - once the sarong even 'melorot' to the ground but quickly re-put to normal condition in the evening prep class. I was not a brat - but sometimes I wished that I could wear stuff that are tailored made just for the (then) skinny me instead of risking wearing a sarong that might 'melorot' to the floor any time...

So, yes, while I admit that I was pretty stingy in sharing my crackers/biscuits, it was not because I am 'tahi hidung masin' by choice, but rather because I could not afford buying lots of crackers/biscuits, and I didn't feel like sharing with others about my family's financial situation back then. Looking back, I realize now that I should have just went ahead and shared what little I had. Might be tough for a teenager who got hungry frequently, but it might had spared me from hearing people saying stuff like - 'nama je anak orang Kampung Tunku, tapi biskut pun susah nak kongsi' when they didn't know the real truth. It hurt - and for a teenager who already had a tough time at home, it hurt pretty bad.

I still don't like discussing my personal state of finance or my savings or anything - but kindly note that we live frugally in Tokyo for a reason. I wouldn't cycle when I was in my third trimester nor would I take a bus when I was in my second confinement week (after Humaidi's birth) for Huzaifah's 18-months check-up for no good reason... Just because I am in Tokyo on paid study leave, please don't start making assumptions that I 'have a lot of savings'. It could be far from the truth, just like the assumptions my unsuspecting dorm-mates once made about me...